The psychology of sexting

So why is sexting so much fun? Well, it’s actually scientific. It doesn’t just lighten your load mentally; it improves your mood, makes you feel happier and it actually induces physical changes in your body and mind. Your mind reacts to sexually stimulating thoughts by activating hormones and other neurochemicals of pleasure, such as dopamine, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.

Your unashamed dialogue through sexting can ignite your partners’ inner fire, creating a happier and more intimate relationship. By using sexting as foreplay and then enjoying the physical act when you have your significant other in the flesh.

Sexting brings couples closer. It can give a relationship more satisfaction, trust, and commitment. And couples who engage in sexting say they have more pleasure between the sheets.

The psychological benefits of a healthy sex life are many. Sexting helps to cultivate anticipation which can intensify the bodily pleasure of sex and improve communication at a biological level. The physical act of sex is comparable to that of most physical activities: raising your heart rate and (temporarily) blood pressure, reducing stress and anxiety, and releasing endorphins that produce feelings of euphoria and pleasure; all of which leave you happier and calmer after the sexual climax. This is why many people attest to a general sense of well-being and relaxation, and feelings of walking on cloud nine following copulation.

At the start of a relationship, when you’re still getting to know each other, sexting is a great way to figure out what your new partner is into sexually, and can also break the ice so that the first time is not so awkward.

But what about for long term relationships? Well, it can be easy to slip into a ‘comfort zone’ sexually, and assume you know all the ins and outs of someone you may have lived with for years. But do we ever really know another person? Could it be there are dirty little desires waiting for an opportunity to experiment? Sexting can be a great measure of your intimate relationship with your partner, as well as a safe exploration of sexual desires, offering a glimpse of your partners needs in a new light.

The science of your sex life

Talking about your turn-ons and fantasies with your partner can help your communication in other areas of your relationship; if you can be open about your fantasies, then you might find it a little easier to confront other issues in your relationship with honesty.

A great deal of our sensual selves is made up of parts of us that don’t usually get to see the light of day. For example, someone who is a boss all day at work might want to be a total submissive in their play time. Or perhaps, all the anxiety of the day can only be escaped by becoming a dominatrix in erotic play.

Allowing your lover to see the depths of your raunchy self, by painting your fantasies digitally, can also be sexually scary. You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable and there is also a lot of trust involved. Will my partner still love me if they see me step out of my usual role and try on this part of myself? Try it… they may buy it! And you may find that your sex life takes on an entire new direction: role-play, BDSM, a little advice from the Karma Sutra, bondage, incorporation of new toys to share, or an overload of romance… there’s endless possibilities, just check in on your consent and level of comfort from time to time.

Sexting is a quick pick-me-up, as sometimes we all just want a little fun, right?

A great many of Sexty’s messages are funny. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. The result? You can have a good laugh and be aroused at the same time. This is a sure way to keep the flame of your relationship burning.

Sexting is not only a great way to have some fun, it also can be quite romantic. Sexty has a romantic category called flirts. Some are cute, some funny, some romantic, but if you’re looking for soppy 80’s-type-movie one-liners… might I suggest you take your cues from soap operas instead.

Another dynamic medium to express your erotic self is to send a cheeky photo that entices and leaves the receiver wanting more (see previous blog about precautions and revenge porn). A picture that highlights the persona you’re developing (i.e. your sexually suggestive avatar on the Sexty app) could be nothing more than a sly smile, or of a part of your body that you feel is on point that day. The imagination of the receiver will fill in the rest.

Your avatar allows you to do things in your fantasies that you might not feel comfortable or be able to do in reality, so sexting gives you and your partner a place to be wildly uninhibited. The back and forth exchange this creates can lead to anticipation and more sexual self-confidence. As you wait for your partner’s reply to your naughty text your heart fills with excitement. When that text is meet with appreciation and a provocative reply, you not only might start to get a little hotter, wetter or harder; you may also find that you feel a little better about yourself. Who doesn’t love a bit of welcomed sexual attention?!

You deserve to be fulfilled sexually, and the human imagination is a wonderful playground for exploration. Sexting provides a great way to discover new exciting things outside your sexual template to try out in reality. The adventurous side of your sexual ego, creating a passionate fury, can be a prequel to a wild night in bed. Let the teasing begin with Sexty.

Happy sexting and happy endings!

Alex Colorado

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